The Vicious Teachers

Some people are meant to be teachers, and others are not. I recently read this online article posted by a friend of mine titled: "What teachers really want parents to know." In the article, several points were made by the author/teacher. Here are just a few. #1 Teachers are not babysitters. #2 Quit with excuses for your child. #3 Don't turn to your child and asked "Is that true?"  After the teacher just told the parent about something their child recently did. Some of the points listed I agree with, others I do not. But I understand that teachers are sick of not being able to do their job due to disrespectful children and parents. Now here are some things I think SOME (most definetely not ALL) teachers should hear from parents.

#1 What you say in class, gets repeated. You may not understand this, but what you say isn't private. Especially if it's pretty horrible. You see....I have three kids, and I cannot count how many times my kids have gotten in the car just to tell me about some horrid thing their teacher said to them, or someone else. Today, my son let me know that the P.E. teacher pointed out a few kids in the class and labeled them "obese." Yep. In front of the whole class. Now let me insert some common sense here. You DO NOT GIVE KIDS AMMUNITION!! Not only did you just destroy a child's self-esteem, but you gave the other kids in the class fire-power. Good job. These incidents are not uncommon, and although I'm sure most teachers do not like confrontations with parents, you asked for it. Now deal with it.

#2   You are not always right. My son started Algebra this year. He's doing very well, and he is working very hard. However, his teacher made it very clear about his feelings regarding 7th graders in his predominantly 8th grade class. Let me quote. "I don't want 7th graders in my class. They slow me down." Later, I received an email letting me know that he wanted to send my son to Pre-Algebra. I asked him, "Is he misbehaving in class?" And his answer was "No. He's a great kid. It's not because of test scores either. It's because of maturity, and 7th graders should not be allowed into Algebra 1 no matter what their placement tests say. " SOOOO..basically you are saying that he's not a problem at all, but for you personally, you don't care what happens to the student as long as you get to do exactly what YOU want. Nice. Well guess what? Life doesn't work that way. And you aren't always correct. Grow up.

#3 If you tell me something regarding my child, I am going to ask: "Is this true?" Because guess what. I'm one of those CONCERNED parents that likes to hear it from the horse's mouth, and put my child on the spot. This serves two purposes. One. It gives the child the chance to cop to whatever he/she has done. Then, face the consequences. Two. Sometimes teachers lie. (gasp) Yes. I said it. They lie. I've had a teacher lie about me, and I want to give my child the chance to stand up for him/herself if it's needed. So don't get angry or frustrated with me, because I want to hear it from my child. You see, you may think I don't know my child, and I'm sure I don't know half. But what I do know, is when I'm being lied to. And when that is the case, I run the show because I'm a heck of a lot scarier than you are. He sees you once a day. He has to SLEEP in my house.

#4 Finally. The last thing I want to tell teachers is this: Some of you shouldn't be teaching. Now that's not to say that you aren't intelligent, creative, etc. But you are cranky, rude, and you simply don't like children. Every school has this teacher. All the teachers know about him/her, and so do the children. I'm sure good intentions paved the way for you to become an educator, but you detoured somewhere and I suggest you find your pathway back. Yelling, name-calling, being unwilling to help your students..you're not a teacher anymore. You've become a self-created prison warden that no child will be able to learn from. SO don't get mad when they come up with some nicknames of their own for you.

I love teachers. You might read this and think I don't, but you're wrong. I'm simply talking about that one teacher that exists in every school. SO here are a few last things I'd like to mention: 1. My kids don't need a friend, they need a good, solid teacher. 2. Stop playing blackjack on your laptop. The kids can see you doing this and it sets a poor example. 3. We know you're not perfect, we don't expect it. But being organized actually helps. 

To sum it all up: If you respect me, I'll respect you. If you choose to not do your job properly, don't become irate with me when I show up at your classroom door. I'm nice, but I do what I must. Moms, care to add anything I've missed?

Tips from an awful driver

Alright, let me start by saying I'm a bad driver. It's true; I'm pretty horrible. I do a whole lot of interesting things while I drive, that if I may say so, scare the crap out of my children. I tailgate, am slow to apply my brakes, and apply makeup while I head off to my daily activities. Whatever, That's not the problem. The issues I have are with other drivers. Even I, a self-confessed "bad driver" know that certain things aren't okay to do.

Staring into other people's cars is horrible. I have been at a stop light and have felt the stares of people. What in the world do people want to see? Are they hoping I'll pick my nose? My husband does this, and I want to smack him. Not beat him, persay, but a quick shot to the head would suffice. I don't stare into other's cars, because I simply don't care. Do you want to watch me put on my makeup? Shake my finger at the kids? Or drink water? Go ahead, but when I DO pick my nose, don't look shocked. You are just getting what you asked for.

My next issue I have is people flipping me off. Seriously people? Is it really that serious that flipping the bird is called for? Did I cut you off in my slow Prius? Probably. Did I go a little too far out into the turning lane? Sure. But am I offended when you show me the middle finger? Nope. Don't even care. In fact, my common response is to blow a kiss in your direction. So the next time you feel the urge to show me your opinion regarding the way I drive, please understand I couldn't care less, and you now look like a dingaling.

Third, texting at a stop light. Hey, I don't care if you text and drive. I really don't. BUT, I do if I'm waiting behind you at a stop light, and you are so caught up in your LOLing and OMGoodnessing that you don't see the light turn green. Not only will I honk my horn a million times, but I will get in front of you and drive 5 miles per hour. Hey, you wasted my time; it's only fair I waste yours.

Now I'm not saying I follow my own rules, I just wish everyone else would. That way, my driving experiences would be more enjoyable.

Things Just Aren't As Good...

Things just aren't as good as they use to be. Either they don't work as well, or they simply don't work at all.  If you don't believe me, here are some examples.

Case in point #1: Deoderant.
Ok, seriously. The other day I was at the gym. Now, I specifically recall putting on deoderant. However, after about an hour...I smelled something pretty dang bad. I looked around for the offending person...and then realized that nobody else was around. Yep. It was me...and I was offended that I had paid money to a deoderant company that made sure that the wrapping was pretty, but the product made me smell like a hot onion.

Point #2: Make-up.
I try everything. Every maker, every brand. Especially the ones that promise to "stay put." Well, I don't know about you, but after thirty minutes in the sun...my freshly-made face slides to my neck. Worth the money? Not for my face, but I have to say that my neck looks LOVELY!

Point #3: Sanity.
Now they don't sell this at a store, but they really ought to. Some sort of a refill that comes in a pretty jar. Why is this one added? It's simple. My "sanity button" doesn't work the way it used to. Call it children, call it being a taxi, call it cleaning up cat barf all over the stairs. Call it what you want. But it doesn't work. And when I'm fresh out of sanity....the closest thing I can get to a refill is chocolate. Now to answer my son's question: "Mom? Why do you have 12 candy bars hidden at the top of the cabinet?" Well the answer is simple: "It's my sanity refill. But they aren't working as well as they used to."

Point #4: Children.
Growing up, I did what the heck I was told (until I was a teenager, and then all bets were off...). If my dad made a list of chores, they were done; perfectly. If groceries were to be brought in, we went outside to meet my mom so that we could help her. Nowadays? If you tell your kids to do the dishes, that's all that's getting done. Not the pots, pans, counters. No. JUST the dishes. If you tell your kids to clean out the cat litter, that is exactly what is getting cleaned. Does new litter get put back into the cat potty? No. Why? Because you did not specifically TELL them to do so. Not sure about you, but some days I'd like to return my children and get a refund.

In the end, some things you can return, and others are yours forever (gratefully).  As for me, I'm thinking about going to the gym, getting disgustingly stinky, and then going to the deoderant company and share with them what they made me share with others.

If there are any other products that don't work the way they should, comment below. I'd LOVE to hear your ideas.

A Healthy Lifestyle Bites...

Eating right, exercising, calorie-counting, blah blah. Living a healthy lifestyle is HARD. Ask anyone who knew me as a kid, and they'll all confirm my sugar habit. At any given moment, you could look under my bed and find a TON of candy wrappers.  I also hate exercising. Just the thought of it makes me irritated. Now, you'd have thought that I would've changed by this point in my adulthood, right? Oh, heck no. I just started playing the responisiblity game.  Here's how it goes and why it's still hard for me:

Rules to living healthy:
1. Increasing protein. You need protein. It helps repair your muscles, and it helps you lose weight. Why is it hard? I HATE most meat. No, I'm not a vegetarian. I just don't like it. SO. What to do? Protein powder every morning. I gag, but oh well. Evil necessity.

2. Increasing vegetables and fruit: Oh yes. This actually works. It sucks, but it works. Now if you'd like to roll any of those things in sugar, I'd gladly eat it. Unfortunately, that's not as helpful as I'd like. So, I just stick to my favorites.

3. Keep track of what you shovel in. There are websites and apps that help you log in what you eat and the calories they have. I know it seems like a pain in the butt, but once you see how your calories add up, you won't want to stop keeping track. Why? Because it's scary. So for me, I'd rather know what damage I'm doing to myself and stop it before it gets out of control.

4. Exercise. Yes. I said it. Nothing new. For me, machines, running, blah. They didn't help. What helped? Circuit training. I bought a book with a whole circuit training program, broken down daily and with pictures. I've always been lazy, and exercising is HORRIBLE. But it works, so "man up" and just do it.

5. Get a pedometer. They are $10.00 at Target, and it keeps you motivated. It only works because if you are supposed to do 10,000 steps, and you only do 2,000. You'll feel guilty, and get walking.

6. Find your favorites. Don't give up your favorite foods. Just keep it to a low roar. You won't stick to your goal if your food is so limited that you are unhappy.

7. Plan Ahead. If you know you are going out to dinner, look up the menu online, view the calories, and figure out what you are ordering so you don't have to debate when you are in the restaraunt. Also, the movies suck for me because I LOVE snacking. So...I've started taking my own popcorn and snacks. Saves a good 1,000 calories. PLUS I don't feel bad afterwards.

8. Salt is a killer. Drop the salt, and drop 2 pounds in 2 days. Say what you want, but water weight is just as vicious.

End story: Living healthy actually IS a lifestyle, and you have to be ready for it. For me, it's a constant stop-start-stop-start problem. But I tell you this: I'm not ever giving up.

Friendships are hard

     Ok...I'm not a great friend 100% of the time. I realize this and accept it, and so should you. I'm busy, tired, and cranky and generally don't have the time to put into a friendship what it needs. Lately, however, I have started realizing how important my friends are to me. So I started thinking about what steps I should take to be a better friend to those I have been blessed with, and this is what I've come to accept regarding maintaining friendships:

1. Get a calendar. My lifelong friend has one, and although I'd like to slap her with it while planning nights out; it works.
2. Forgive. Nobody is perfect, we all suck to some degree. If you don't forgive, you won't have a friendship.
3. Be available. This is so hard for me, but it's a requirement. When an emergency hits, and your friend needs you; BE THERE.
4. Laugh. If you can't laugh with your friend, there's really no point in having one.
5. Be you. If your friend can't accept who and what you REALLY are, you don't have a friend, you have someone in your life that just takes up space.
6. Don't be self-absorbed. Nobody wants to hear about you all the time (as amazing as we all think we are, this is actually annoying. Listen to someone else for a change, you might learn something.)
 7. You don't have to spend every waking minute together. Most of us have kids, jobs, husbands, etc. We don't have the time to hang out all day. Sometimes you may only see your dearest friend once every two months. The great thing about having a close friend is that no matter how long it's been, it feels as though you were together yesterday.

Friendships are more important than they are given credit. For women, they provide a sisterhood, a support system, a laugh factory. We need them to get through our stress, our heartache, our daily boredom. So if you're wondering why your friendships aren't as wonderful as you hoped they'd be, ask yourself what you are putting into them and what they are made of. Then adjust.

Labeling Kids

Not labeling kids is so dang hard. It's so easy to talk about your kids and say: "Oh. He's the smart kid." or "Yes. He's the cute one." It sounds harmless enough, but given time and repetition; it creates a problem. When I was little, I always heard my parents talk about my sister being smart or me being cute. Well I always wanted to be called the smart one. Now don't get me wrong; my parents are great. They were boosting self-esteem by giving compliments. But..I didn't want that compliment. I wanted the one I DIDN'T get. It's always that way. It sucks, but that's the way it is with people. We want what we aren't given. Positive names are great, but I wonder if they don't pigeonhole kids. If they think all they are is "beautiful", or "smart", or "shy"...and why limit them and who they can be?

Now that I have my own children, I try very hard not to call my children names, especially negative names. I hear so many parents telling their children they are stupid, brats, (or as I once heard it said in the mall from mother to daughter), a whore. I am always amazed when parents that use these negative, demeaning names are shocked when their children turn out to misbehave, not study in school, etc.. well seriously, now. Who is to blame? The parent told their child what to be, and the child listened. Don't get mad when a kid is obedient to your words.

Kids always need to be complimented. They need to be told how wonderful they are, because everyone else in the world is there to tell them they are not. My advice is to spread out the compliments. Cover every great thing about them so that they know they aren't just a one-trick pony. That they can be and do everything. And no, you're not going to like everything your kids do. You might even want to scream daily, but just remember: it takes a hundred positive comments to get that negative one out of his or her head. Choose your words wisely, uplift, be kind, and never be afraid to apologize to your kids when you've said something you shouldn't have.

The Bully

Since when has bullying become an art form? I swear these kids are becoming vicious at a very early age. It may seem this way to me because I have a daughter, but girls are so much worse than boys these days. From name calling, to backpack throwing, to not allowing one friend to be friends with another, this crap starts EARLY. Like Kindergarten early. I was not prepared for this. There's no handbook, map, or guide that can direct a mother through this garbage. Now, I consider myself to be patient (now), but it is wearing thin to the point that I am going to wind up in jail in about 4 more days. I try to teach my daughter to be kind, considerate, and loving. However, the mean girls at school are teaching her that by bullying other kids, you are guaranteed to be popular. So what's a mom to do? This is what I'm doing. I talk to her, explain to her that being popular isn't the greatest thing, but that having one great friend is the best gift in life. I hug her, then emphasize to be kind, but to never take somebody's unkind words as the truth. I tell her to stand up for herself, but to never degrade herself in the process. But the number one thing I tell her is this: NEVER let anyone change who you are as a person, because anyone that treats you badly isn't worth your time or energy. And then...when I am done with my motherly rant, I hunt the little badly behaved chick down and scare the crap out of her. Just kidding....maybe....

Their Clean is not my clean

When I was a kid, my parents always told me to clean up. Looking back, I'm pretty sure their version was definetely not mine. When I heard the words "clean your room", I felt that meant "shove everything underneath the bed." Apparently, this was passed down to my own children.

The other day, I realized I had no silverware. SOOO, I went looking. I found a spoon in my room, a cup in my daughters, trash but no dishes in my younger son's room, and THEN...THEN I hit the jackpot. My eldest boy's room. I was happy when I spotted five forks on top of his tv. I became a little less happy as I found four bowls, eight cups, and two knives on top of his dresser in the closet. And then there was the motherload. Plates, cups, spoons, etc... (and too many to count) underneath his bed. As I grabbed a laundry basket to load up all of the missing dishes, I noticed a huge pile of laundry the size of a small mountain. Now dirty clothes is one thing, but as I started sorting them, I noticed that many of the clothes were actually STILL FOLDED and were mixed in with wet towels and dirty socks. After shoving the clothes to the middle of the room where they could not possibly be missed, I went to unplug a charger dangling from behind his couch. And there it was. The biggest pile of trash ever put on the face of the earth. Old homework, food wrappings, and empty toothpaste tubes; just to name a few. Do you know what I did? I shut the door. Yep. That's what I did. I have many jobs as a mother, but cleaning the city dump is not one of them.

The moral of the story is this: If you tell your children to clean their room, and they come out in 5 minutes, it's not clean. Now I'm sure they're sweaty, but that's only because it takes a lot of effort to shove all that garbage under the bed, in the closet, and behind furniture.

To Hoochie or not to Hoochie...

Let me start off by saying I am not judgemental...now..with that being said; I'm about to judge. I love the winter. It is HEAVENLY. I love the crisp air, the delicious smells from the kitchen, the bathing suits being worn as clothes to the grocery store...wait..WHAT?? Yeah. I said it. Why in the world would I like that? It's simple. During 20 degree weather accompanied by arctic winds, I am clearly able to seperate "woman" from "hoochie." You see, in the summer it is difficult to seperate the two. It's blazing hot in the desert, and one can understand wearing bathing suits (under a tank preferably) to the store. However, when the same women deem it perfectly acceptable to wear a bathing suit and short shorts with their butt cheeks hanging out in the winter; I assume they are give me the go-ahead to classify them under the catagory of "hoochie." Now...how do you determine if you fit this catagory? It's actually quite simple. Before you go out, ask yourself a few questions:

1. Is it under 70 degrees outside?
*If your answer is yes, throw on a dang sweatshirt.

2. Am I wearing a bra?
*If your answer is no, put one on. They are mandatory in my book. NOBODY wants to see that...ok maybe the nasty guy outside..but besides him...NOBODY.

3. Can people see my butt cheeks in the shorts I have on?
*If your answer is yes, this is a PROBLEM. Seriously, butts are not attractive and I wish people would stop acting like they are.

4. Who am I trying to impress?
*If you actually have an answer for this (which I doubt), you might need to look at the type of person you WILL attract, and immediately throw some dang clothes on and get somebody WORTH it.

So ladies..after all is said and done, remember that you are showing the world what to think of you. Although it's not fair to judge others by the way they dress, it is what it is. The way you present yourself actually says more about you than you realize. SO.. the question remains: "To hoochie, or not to hoochie"...THAT is the question to ask yourselves.

Gym Etiquette

 Alright, I'm a gym rat. I don't like it, and in fact I hate it. I've never been the type to run (that would explain my F in P.E. dang near my whole student career), or do a push-up, or even stretch..as that is a precursor to exercise, so why bother. However, a year and a half ago, I noticed some things that made me damn near scream while looking in the mirror. So, my husband and I started exercising. It took about a week at my new gym to realize that I was already bored with the whole thing. I mean, really...shouldn't I have seen results in a week?? So, taking the next fitness step, I picked up a circuit training book. Shocker: I LOVED it! That brings me to where I am now. Still going to the gym with my ratty old book. So here's my point: I've learned most people have very poor manners.  When it comes to the gym: certain things should be required. Here's my list:

1. Wear deoderant. You'd think this is self-explanatory; but I can tell you that this is simply not the truth. Put some on, damnit. It makes me sick and I actually have to inhale to exercise.
2. STOP GRUNTING. What is WRONG with people?? Nobody wants to hear this! One day, I WILL walk by and grunt back at you. Just so you can have the same expression I do.
3. Don't hoard the free weights. There is no way on earth you are going to be able to use four different sets at the same time. The next time you do this, I hope somebody puts a set on your ankles, a set on your feet, a set on your stomach, and a set on your neck.
4. DO NOT WATCH THE CLASSES. Seriously the nastiest thing I've ever witnessed. It is not ok to gather with your gym buddies and watch the women sweat to the oldies. Go get a hobby.
5. Wipe down the machines. This is just nice to do. Nobody wants to touch anything you just sweated over. The people that don't wipe down the machines are the same people that don't wash their hands after using the restroom. Just saying.
6. Wear gym clothes. Make sure you're covered up. NOBODY wants to see your boobs...and men, those tank tops that show yours aren't cute, either.

After all is said and done, I love the gym now. But I promise you, the next time I see one of you that falls into problem areas 1-6, I will be posting your picture. ;o) Love to you all.

Women and Compliments

Women are strange. I'm one of them...so I know. Many of us have this major problem of not knowing how to accept a compliment when it's given. Anytime I get one, I either question the person's intelligence, or their sanity. I noticed today that anytime a woman was given any sort of acknowledgement for their talents or God-given gifts, they looked at the floor. Why is that? Is it humility? Maybe...but I actually think it comes from the inability to see in ourselves who and what we truly are. Amazing individuals. Are we perfect? Of course not(although I like to tell people otherwise). But that doesn't mean we don't have perfect things ABOUT us. We are all special in some way, whether it's our ability to cook, listen to others, or tell people what they need to hear in the way they need to hear it. SO I suppose it all starts with being able to accept a compliment when it's given. Maybe if we can just do that, we can start to see what that person sees. Now THAT is a great beginning.

My First Blog...awwwwww!!

I asked my son to make me a blog for Mother's Day; so here I am. I suppose it's best to introduce myself. I'm Laurie. Mom of 3 (four including my husband), sister, daughter, teacher. My life may sound average, but I don't think I've ever described myself that way. Crazy? Sarcastic? Busy? Loving? Bossy? Yes. But by no means would I use the word "average." I don't really have a goal for this blog. I am not going to focus strictly on family, school, cooking, or whatever else. No...I'm going to write about everything. I apparently can't control my thoughts, and don't think I should start now.