The Bully

Since when has bullying become an art form? I swear these kids are becoming vicious at a very early age. It may seem this way to me because I have a daughter, but girls are so much worse than boys these days. From name calling, to backpack throwing, to not allowing one friend to be friends with another, this crap starts EARLY. Like Kindergarten early. I was not prepared for this. There's no handbook, map, or guide that can direct a mother through this garbage. Now, I consider myself to be patient (now), but it is wearing thin to the point that I am going to wind up in jail in about 4 more days. I try to teach my daughter to be kind, considerate, and loving. However, the mean girls at school are teaching her that by bullying other kids, you are guaranteed to be popular. So what's a mom to do? This is what I'm doing. I talk to her, explain to her that being popular isn't the greatest thing, but that having one great friend is the best gift in life. I hug her, then emphasize to be kind, but to never take somebody's unkind words as the truth. I tell her to stand up for herself, but to never degrade herself in the process. But the number one thing I tell her is this: NEVER let anyone change who you are as a person, because anyone that treats you badly isn't worth your time or energy. And then...when I am done with my motherly rant, I hunt the little badly behaved chick down and scare the crap out of her. Just kidding....maybe....

Their Clean is not my clean

When I was a kid, my parents always told me to clean up. Looking back, I'm pretty sure their version was definetely not mine. When I heard the words "clean your room", I felt that meant "shove everything underneath the bed." Apparently, this was passed down to my own children.

The other day, I realized I had no silverware. SOOO, I went looking. I found a spoon in my room, a cup in my daughters, trash but no dishes in my younger son's room, and THEN...THEN I hit the jackpot. My eldest boy's room. I was happy when I spotted five forks on top of his tv. I became a little less happy as I found four bowls, eight cups, and two knives on top of his dresser in the closet. And then there was the motherload. Plates, cups, spoons, etc... (and too many to count) underneath his bed. As I grabbed a laundry basket to load up all of the missing dishes, I noticed a huge pile of laundry the size of a small mountain. Now dirty clothes is one thing, but as I started sorting them, I noticed that many of the clothes were actually STILL FOLDED and were mixed in with wet towels and dirty socks. After shoving the clothes to the middle of the room where they could not possibly be missed, I went to unplug a charger dangling from behind his couch. And there it was. The biggest pile of trash ever put on the face of the earth. Old homework, food wrappings, and empty toothpaste tubes; just to name a few. Do you know what I did? I shut the door. Yep. That's what I did. I have many jobs as a mother, but cleaning the city dump is not one of them.

The moral of the story is this: If you tell your children to clean their room, and they come out in 5 minutes, it's not clean. Now I'm sure they're sweaty, but that's only because it takes a lot of effort to shove all that garbage under the bed, in the closet, and behind furniture.

To Hoochie or not to Hoochie...

Let me start off by saying I am not judgemental...now..with that being said; I'm about to judge. I love the winter. It is HEAVENLY. I love the crisp air, the delicious smells from the kitchen, the bathing suits being worn as clothes to the grocery store...wait..WHAT?? Yeah. I said it. Why in the world would I like that? It's simple. During 20 degree weather accompanied by arctic winds, I am clearly able to seperate "woman" from "hoochie." You see, in the summer it is difficult to seperate the two. It's blazing hot in the desert, and one can understand wearing bathing suits (under a tank preferably) to the store. However, when the same women deem it perfectly acceptable to wear a bathing suit and short shorts with their butt cheeks hanging out in the winter; I assume they are give me the go-ahead to classify them under the catagory of "hoochie." Now...how do you determine if you fit this catagory? It's actually quite simple. Before you go out, ask yourself a few questions:

1. Is it under 70 degrees outside?
*If your answer is yes, throw on a dang sweatshirt.

2. Am I wearing a bra?
*If your answer is no, put one on. They are mandatory in my book. NOBODY wants to see that...ok maybe the nasty guy outside..but besides him...NOBODY.

3. Can people see my butt cheeks in the shorts I have on?
*If your answer is yes, this is a PROBLEM. Seriously, butts are not attractive and I wish people would stop acting like they are.

4. Who am I trying to impress?
*If you actually have an answer for this (which I doubt), you might need to look at the type of person you WILL attract, and immediately throw some dang clothes on and get somebody WORTH it.

So ladies..after all is said and done, remember that you are showing the world what to think of you. Although it's not fair to judge others by the way they dress, it is what it is. The way you present yourself actually says more about you than you realize. SO.. the question remains: "To hoochie, or not to hoochie"...THAT is the question to ask yourselves.

Gym Etiquette

 Alright, I'm a gym rat. I don't like it, and in fact I hate it. I've never been the type to run (that would explain my F in P.E. dang near my whole student career), or do a push-up, or even stretch..as that is a precursor to exercise, so why bother. However, a year and a half ago, I noticed some things that made me damn near scream while looking in the mirror. So, my husband and I started exercising. It took about a week at my new gym to realize that I was already bored with the whole thing. I mean, really...shouldn't I have seen results in a week?? So, taking the next fitness step, I picked up a circuit training book. Shocker: I LOVED it! That brings me to where I am now. Still going to the gym with my ratty old book. So here's my point: I've learned most people have very poor manners.  When it comes to the gym: certain things should be required. Here's my list:

1. Wear deoderant. You'd think this is self-explanatory; but I can tell you that this is simply not the truth. Put some on, damnit. It makes me sick and I actually have to inhale to exercise.
2. STOP GRUNTING. What is WRONG with people?? Nobody wants to hear this! One day, I WILL walk by and grunt back at you. Just so you can have the same expression I do.
3. Don't hoard the free weights. There is no way on earth you are going to be able to use four different sets at the same time. The next time you do this, I hope somebody puts a set on your ankles, a set on your feet, a set on your stomach, and a set on your neck.
4. DO NOT WATCH THE CLASSES. Seriously the nastiest thing I've ever witnessed. It is not ok to gather with your gym buddies and watch the women sweat to the oldies. Go get a hobby.
5. Wipe down the machines. This is just nice to do. Nobody wants to touch anything you just sweated over. The people that don't wipe down the machines are the same people that don't wash their hands after using the restroom. Just saying.
6. Wear gym clothes. Make sure you're covered up. NOBODY wants to see your boobs...and men, those tank tops that show yours aren't cute, either.

After all is said and done, I love the gym now. But I promise you, the next time I see one of you that falls into problem areas 1-6, I will be posting your picture. ;o) Love to you all.

Women and Compliments

Women are strange. I'm one of them...so I know. Many of us have this major problem of not knowing how to accept a compliment when it's given. Anytime I get one, I either question the person's intelligence, or their sanity. I noticed today that anytime a woman was given any sort of acknowledgement for their talents or God-given gifts, they looked at the floor. Why is that? Is it humility? Maybe...but I actually think it comes from the inability to see in ourselves who and what we truly are. Amazing individuals. Are we perfect? Of course not(although I like to tell people otherwise). But that doesn't mean we don't have perfect things ABOUT us. We are all special in some way, whether it's our ability to cook, listen to others, or tell people what they need to hear in the way they need to hear it. SO I suppose it all starts with being able to accept a compliment when it's given. Maybe if we can just do that, we can start to see what that person sees. Now THAT is a great beginning.

My First Blog...awwwwww!!

I asked my son to make me a blog for Mother's Day; so here I am. I suppose it's best to introduce myself. I'm Laurie. Mom of 3 (four including my husband), sister, daughter, teacher. My life may sound average, but I don't think I've ever described myself that way. Crazy? Sarcastic? Busy? Loving? Bossy? Yes. But by no means would I use the word "average." I don't really have a goal for this blog. I am not going to focus strictly on family, school, cooking, or whatever else. No...I'm going to write about everything. I apparently can't control my thoughts, and don't think I should start now.