Things Just Aren't As Good...

Things just aren't as good as they use to be. Either they don't work as well, or they simply don't work at all.  If you don't believe me, here are some examples.

Case in point #1: Deoderant.
Ok, seriously. The other day I was at the gym. Now, I specifically recall putting on deoderant. However, after about an hour...I smelled something pretty dang bad. I looked around for the offending person...and then realized that nobody else was around. Yep. It was me...and I was offended that I had paid money to a deoderant company that made sure that the wrapping was pretty, but the product made me smell like a hot onion.

Point #2: Make-up.
I try everything. Every maker, every brand. Especially the ones that promise to "stay put." Well, I don't know about you, but after thirty minutes in the sun...my freshly-made face slides to my neck. Worth the money? Not for my face, but I have to say that my neck looks LOVELY!

Point #3: Sanity.
Now they don't sell this at a store, but they really ought to. Some sort of a refill that comes in a pretty jar. Why is this one added? It's simple. My "sanity button" doesn't work the way it used to. Call it children, call it being a taxi, call it cleaning up cat barf all over the stairs. Call it what you want. But it doesn't work. And when I'm fresh out of sanity....the closest thing I can get to a refill is chocolate. Now to answer my son's question: "Mom? Why do you have 12 candy bars hidden at the top of the cabinet?" Well the answer is simple: "It's my sanity refill. But they aren't working as well as they used to."

Point #4: Children.
Growing up, I did what the heck I was told (until I was a teenager, and then all bets were off...). If my dad made a list of chores, they were done; perfectly. If groceries were to be brought in, we went outside to meet my mom so that we could help her. Nowadays? If you tell your kids to do the dishes, that's all that's getting done. Not the pots, pans, counters. No. JUST the dishes. If you tell your kids to clean out the cat litter, that is exactly what is getting cleaned. Does new litter get put back into the cat potty? No. Why? Because you did not specifically TELL them to do so. Not sure about you, but some days I'd like to return my children and get a refund.

In the end, some things you can return, and others are yours forever (gratefully).  As for me, I'm thinking about going to the gym, getting disgustingly stinky, and then going to the deoderant company and share with them what they made me share with others.

If there are any other products that don't work the way they should, comment below. I'd LOVE to hear your ideas.

A Healthy Lifestyle Bites...

Eating right, exercising, calorie-counting, blah blah. Living a healthy lifestyle is HARD. Ask anyone who knew me as a kid, and they'll all confirm my sugar habit. At any given moment, you could look under my bed and find a TON of candy wrappers.  I also hate exercising. Just the thought of it makes me irritated. Now, you'd have thought that I would've changed by this point in my adulthood, right? Oh, heck no. I just started playing the responisiblity game.  Here's how it goes and why it's still hard for me:

Rules to living healthy:
1. Increasing protein. You need protein. It helps repair your muscles, and it helps you lose weight. Why is it hard? I HATE most meat. No, I'm not a vegetarian. I just don't like it. SO. What to do? Protein powder every morning. I gag, but oh well. Evil necessity.

2. Increasing vegetables and fruit: Oh yes. This actually works. It sucks, but it works. Now if you'd like to roll any of those things in sugar, I'd gladly eat it. Unfortunately, that's not as helpful as I'd like. So, I just stick to my favorites.

3. Keep track of what you shovel in. There are websites and apps that help you log in what you eat and the calories they have. I know it seems like a pain in the butt, but once you see how your calories add up, you won't want to stop keeping track. Why? Because it's scary. So for me, I'd rather know what damage I'm doing to myself and stop it before it gets out of control.

4. Exercise. Yes. I said it. Nothing new. For me, machines, running, blah. They didn't help. What helped? Circuit training. I bought a book with a whole circuit training program, broken down daily and with pictures. I've always been lazy, and exercising is HORRIBLE. But it works, so "man up" and just do it.

5. Get a pedometer. They are $10.00 at Target, and it keeps you motivated. It only works because if you are supposed to do 10,000 steps, and you only do 2,000. You'll feel guilty, and get walking.

6. Find your favorites. Don't give up your favorite foods. Just keep it to a low roar. You won't stick to your goal if your food is so limited that you are unhappy.

7. Plan Ahead. If you know you are going out to dinner, look up the menu online, view the calories, and figure out what you are ordering so you don't have to debate when you are in the restaraunt. Also, the movies suck for me because I LOVE snacking. So...I've started taking my own popcorn and snacks. Saves a good 1,000 calories. PLUS I don't feel bad afterwards.

8. Salt is a killer. Drop the salt, and drop 2 pounds in 2 days. Say what you want, but water weight is just as vicious.

End story: Living healthy actually IS a lifestyle, and you have to be ready for it. For me, it's a constant stop-start-stop-start problem. But I tell you this: I'm not ever giving up.